SHED SOME LIGHT ON THIS.

maybe this is little overdue.
and i was too ignorant to realise any of this.
until some kind soul decided to show me the way.
alright. so how do i go about doing this? i think an apology is needed. sorry for not realising this earlier. and not knowing that so many didn't like me for this. i'm not trying to make excuses. i know that i seek attention. but i didn't realised that i was doing it to this extent. but i guess all of you have the mentality that i love doing this. i don't. i had no idea that i was doing it until someone pointed it out to me. first it was living waters. and i tried to change. i'm sorry for taking so long to do so. and then i heard it from a third party. and how much he/she detests me for it. but what i don't understand is that why you pretend to be my friend and say all these behind my back. say it to my face if you have the guts. like what priss does. it makes me feel better that at least she's a good enough friend to tell me my bad points to my face and not gossip behind my back.

living waters;
i thank you all for point it out to me, even if its before the whole group and made me realised what a bitch i was. even though it was during camp and in front of eveyone. but at least i know how everyone feels. AMANDA and AUDREY! thank you for telling me exactly whats wrong with me. and still accepting me for who i am. and PRISS for acknowledging that i've changed, no matter how little. and encourage me to be better. i really miss you. and JARED who chooses to be oblivious to all this. and still stay by my side.

awesome;
i know you may have told me this a million times. and i'm sorry for realising it only after so long. but thanks for not losing faith in me. you really are a friend.

ass;
look, just because you have sources around. doesn't mean that you can judge by people's actions. you have no right to. and i believe that only talk behind people's back and not to their face. stop thinking you know everything about me when you're just a spectator in my life. and its not like i'm not admiting to my mistakes. so there is no need to condemn me for this. you don't even now the littlest thing about me and you start talking to me like you've known me all your life. i may not be very close to amanda and audrey. but at least they know me better than you. at least i choose my friends well. and i don't believe why you should hold grudges. and let the past be in the past? there are something i did that i'm not proud of. but you seem so dead panned on condemning me. then good for you. it doesn't affect me in anyway. so go on and pretend to be my friend. there is nothing good for you if you carry on like that anyway. so go fuck yourself.

and you all;
if you have this mindset about me. i'm sorry about it. but i was hoping that you'll leave this mindset about me. i'm changing. encourage me to change for the better. please? i need all the support i can get. thank you. i'm changing bit by bit. cut me some slack for it.


i should get over this.
and be a better person out of this.
thank you very much.